Throughout our lives, we all experience different sex drives, and this can vary drastically over the years. You might find that in your 30s, you found a new lease of life in the bedroom, or perhaps your best years were back in your 20s.
Some people find that their libido is stronger in their 40s than ever before, and this just shows that there is no set rule for sex drive.
However, generally speaking, as we age, our bodies continue to change, and with those physical changes comes a shift in the chemicals in our bodies along with changes to our psyche too.
But this doesn’t mean we’re destined to have no sex drive as we get older.
As we said, some people have very rich sex lives in their 40s, and we want to discuss the ways in which you can increase your sex drive to ensure better performance and a more fulfilling time in the bedroom.
What Can Harm Our Libido?
There are so many things that can lead to a loss of libido in both men and women, and this can lead to complications within our relationships as well as contributing to feelings of inadequacy and self-loathing.
But understanding why this can happen is the first step to fixing things and can really put everything into perspective.
Some of the things that can cause a reduction in sex drive in men are:
Physical Damage
Injuries to the penis or even parts of your body that are in use a lot during sex, such as your legs, back, hips, and arms, can interfere with enjoyment in the bedroom.
Being unable to focus on feeling pleasure when you’ve got a pulled muscle in your back is enough to throw anyone off their game.
Stress and Anxiety
This is easily one of the biggest contributors to poor sex drive. Having too much on your mind, whether it’s work-related worries, the stress in your personal life, concerns about your health, and exhaustion can all factor into your reduced libido.
In fact, rather unhelpfully, we can develop stress and anxiety because of our lack of sex drive, creating a vicious cycle.
General Sexual Problems
There are some sexual issues we can experience that can cause us to feel turned off from sexual activity due to the fear of these problems cropping up.
Problems with ejaculating, erectile dysfunction, and the tightening of the foreskin, can all make the experience pretty unpleasant in some cases and can lead to a mental block of sorts on our sex drive, almost like a defense mechanism.
Mental Health Problems
Similar to stress and anxiety, severe mental health conditions such as depression can interfere with your relationship as well as your sex life. Feelings of intense sorrow, hopelessness, or even losing the desire to do anything fun or joyful can ruin anyone’s interest in sexual activity.
A reduced libido is only one of the many things that can be impacted by poor quality mental health, however, so it’s incredibly important that you go and speak to a medical professional if you’re experiencing thoughts and feelings like this.
Lack Of Exercise
Exercise is a great way to get your mental health in a better state due to the endorphins that are released during rigorous activities.
Not only that, but this exercise, especially harder workouts with heavy weights, produces more testosterone.
These higher T levels can then bolster your sex drive significantly, boosting performance and ultimately getting you into a better frame of mind.
Poor Diet
The food we eat impacts us in so many different ways, from our weight and our strength to even our mood and libido.
A lot of this comes down to how much these foods alter our hormone levels, however, as many foods contain essential nutrients and minerals that assist in the production of things like testosterone and estrogen.
So, eating a good, balanced diet can actually improve hormone production, helping your performance in bed.
Foods To Increase Sex Drive
Choosing the right things to add to your diet can be hellish at times. Are you meant to eat more protein? What’s the deal with carbs? Is fat good for you now? Sometimes you’ve got to take a step back and just take it all one step at a time.
When it comes to improving your sex drive, there are some foods you can add to any diet to easily influence testosterone production, giving you much more confidence in the bedroom. Add these simple foods to help stimulate those T levels:
- Garlic
- Avocado
- Oysters
- Ginger
- Pomegranates
- Kale
- Spinach
- Tuna
- Salmon
- Olives
You’ll find that most of these are plant-based, and a lot of this is due to the huge number of fortifying minerals found within them.
Zinc is a particularly potent one, which is often given to men that are struggling with erectile dysfunction. You can also find high levels of zinc in meat, eggs, dark chocolate, nuts, seeds, and legumes such as beans and lentils.
Be careful with some of these, however, as too much meat and eggs can leave with you excessive amounts of cholesterol in your system, and things like seeds and beans can be overly fibrous.
Cholesterol is actually a key player in the creation of testosterone, but too much of the bad version of it can lead to poor heart and circulation health.
And too much fiber can make you bloated and gassy, making you feel sluggish and unable to perform physically, no matter the activity.
Speak To A Sex Therapist
It’s really not uncommon to seek professional help in relationships, and this can be incredibly rewarding when both parties are committed to getting that help.
Sex should make both you and your partner feel comfortable and happy, but sometimes we are still affected by events that have taken place in our past, including negative thoughts and feelings of previous relationships and sexual encounters.
A therapist can really help you to work through those thoughts, untangling them and dealing with them head-on, and accepting help like this is probably the bravest thing any man can do.
It’s easy to just bury your head in the sand when struggling with any problem like this, whether it's related to sex or not, but standing up and speaking out about your problems takes guts and is much more deserving of respect.
Dealing With Anxiety
Similar to discussing your concerns in the bedroom, tackling the problems in your life that have been causing you general stress and anxiety is another helpful and positive decision.
As mentioned above, the worries we have throughout our daily lives can keep us up at night, affect our concentration, and even impact our relationships, both emotionally and sexually.
Speaking to a professional about your mental health is a great choice if you want to get your mind into a better state, and you might be able to find some great ways to deal with anxiety and stress via your own research.
Battling your demons isn’t easy, so stay strong, and don’t forget to reach out to loved ones for support where possible.
Try Foreplay
Experiencing problems in the bedroom might even be down to a lack of stimulation.
There’s a reason that new relationships and encounters tend to be really fun, and that’s because it’s all new and exciting.
Once you’ve been in a committed relationship for a longer period of time, it can sometimes feel as though the spark is gone.
However, more often than not, that isn’t the case—you’ve both just become comfortable and content.
Try to turn the heat up on your relationship by trying out foreplay a bit more and generally making your time in the bedroom together with an experience rather than a quick activity.
Foreplay can be extremely stimulating for men and women, and the chances are, you’ll both know what each other like way more than if you were sleeping with someone for the first time.
You might find that asking what they want from you can be quite enlightening too, and you shouldn’t be worried about embarrassment if you’re in a loving and caring relationship.
Be open and responsive to your partner, and you’ll both be able to work things out together.
Quit Bad Habits
One more handy piece of advice would be to start taking a good look at any bad habits you’ve developed over the years.
Habits like smoking can lead to problems like infertility, which includes erectile dysfunction, not to mention a massive number of other health problems like cancers.
Binge drinking can also hurt your libido, and many men that drink excessive amounts can suffer from being unable to maintain an erection in the bedroom.
Knocking these bad habits out of your life can seriously improve your performance and reduce your chances of struggling with impotence and other things that will really hurt your sex drive.
Not to mention, many of these bad habits can be fairly off-putting to others and shaking them could really improve your attractiveness to your partner, giving you a confidence boost too.
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